When the Shoes No Longer Fit: A Sign It’s Time for Change

What do you do when the shoes you wear start bringing more discomfort than joy? Most likely, you simply buy a new pair and toss the old ones away without too much hesitation. Why, then, are we so hesitant to apply the same logic to the more important areas of our lives?

Think about how you realize it’s time for a new pair of shoes. Maybe they start hurting your feet, no longer match your evolving style or have simply lost their original finish from regular wear and tear. Eventually, you start noticing how often you complain about them—how uncomfortable they are, how worn-out they look, how they don’t quite fit anymore. That’s usually when it becomes clear: they no longer serve you. And whether you replace them out of necessity or simply to feel better, the decision doesn’t feel dramatic—it just makes sense.

Now let’s extend that analogy to life. What if the things you consistently complain about—whether it’s your job, your environment, your relationships or your routine—are simply the “shoes” that no longer fit who you are today? What if your complaints aren’t just noise, but signals trying desperately to tell you something, day after day, month after month, maybe even for years? That level of repetition is rarely just venting—it’s a clue. And often, that clue points toward a need for change.

Of course, not every complaint calls for a drastic life overhaul. Sometimes, after deeper reflection, you may realize the situation isn’t as bad as it might appear, with no radical shift needed. But even so, why not redirect that energy into something more meaningful and constructive?

Even before I started my coaching journey, I never quite understood people who chronically complained without taking any steps to change their circumstances. I remember sitting in the office, watching colleagues huddle by the pantry to rehash the same old frustrations about the same old projects and people. I quickly realized those conversations rarely led to anything useful. Nothing ever changed, and the cycle just continued. I found it exhausting and did my best to distance myself from those interactions, not out of judgment, but to protect my own energy and focus.

Eventually, I started treating my own complaints as an important signpost. When I realized I was complaining more than enjoying my life in Mexico City, I knew I had to act—and I moved to New York. When my career in audit started to drain me more than challenge me, I moved into advisory. When I found myself speaking negatively about my job more often than positively, I made the decision to start building a new career from scratch. None of those decisions were easy or instant. They required a lot of courage and careful planning. But they all started with the same thing: paying attention to the things I kept complaining about.

So I’ll leave you with this. Take a moment to reflect on the parts of your life that you are consistently negative about? Is it your job? Your salary? Your home? Your relationship?

I’m not suggesting that the solution is always to leave or change everything. But there’s almost always something you can do. Complaints can be a form of self-awareness, but only if we let them guide us toward change, not keep us trapped in the same place.

You don’t have to live in shoes that don’t fit anymore. You deserve to walk through life in something that carries you forward—not holds you back. And that feel good to walk in.