What would it feel like to believe I’m already whole?
When I worked as a consultant, our primary goal was to look for problems — specifically, gaps in our clients' compliance programs. We were trained to spot weaknesses, identify risks and find ways to close those gaps to protect the business.
And while that approach works well in the business world... it doesn’t work so well in people’s personal or even professional lives.
However, many of us are applying that very same mindset inward. Simply put, we think we’re not enough; that there’s always something to fix. We scan ourselves for flaws, gaps, weaknesses. We live in a constant cycle of self-assessment and self-criticism, hoping that once we fix this one thing, we’ll finally feel good.
But here’s what really happens: maybe we fix one gap — but almost immediately, another one appears. The cycle continues. And so does the dissatisfaction.
There’s another way — probably the most difficult one, to be perfectly honest. But also, conversely, the most transformative. As the famous American psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
I call it: Starting from wholeness.
Start from the belief that you are already enough — right now. That you're worthy of love, respect and care for yourself — not after you lose 10 pounds, get promoted or become “better,” whatever that means… but exactly as you are.
Don’t exercise because you hate your body. Move because you honor your body.
Don’t seek constant feedback because you doubt yourself. Seek it because you're committed to learning.
Don’t micromanage your team because you fear being judged for their mistakes. Empower them because you believe in their growth and your own ability to lead with trust.
When we act from love instead of lack, we build habits that last.
Now think about a change you want to make. Then ask yourself:
Am I doing this to fix myself… or to care for myself?
What would it feel like to believe I’m already whole — and act from that place?
You don’t have to earn your way into worthiness. You can begin your journey already whole — and let change be a celebration of who you are, not a punishment for whom you’re not.
