Are You Focusing on Finding Balance? You’re Doing It Wrong.

We hear it all the time: “I just need to find balance.” Life coaches pitch balance between work and family; sports coaches between discipline and rest; and the internet offers an endless amount of “perfect” recipes, spreadsheets and formulas that supposedly will help you achieve it. Ah, “balance,” this magical word. As if you just followed a pre-ordained series of steps, you’d finally arrive at that magical balance point where everything feels effortless, and you will have found all of the happiness and joy you could’ve wished for.

However, the truth is—none of this work. There is no “perfect balance.” You will never obtain that perfect setup that will work all the time, every day and forever. Life doesn’t operate like that. Trying to organize your life as if you were baking cookies is the wrong analogy to use. 

The question isn’t whether things will go sideways. Because they will.
The question is, How do you respond when life throws you off track?

In business, this is called crisis management. Companies don’t succeed because they build flawless five-year strategies that they then proceed to meticulously apply without interruption or outside interference. They succeed because they know how to adapt when the unexpected happens—when a client leaves, when the economy shifts, when their best employee resigns. Their survival depends not on avoiding disruption, but on how quickly and effectively they respond and adapt to it.

The same is true for us as individuals.

Think about it: maybe you’ve invested in designing the perfect workout and nutrition plan. On paper, it looks incredible. You’re motivated, committed, and for the first few days and even weeks everything goes smoothly.

And then?

One day, your job gets overwhelming. Your child gets sick. A dozen small “life fires” appear all at once. And in the blink of an eye, your carefully built routine collapses. You stop showing up at the gym, and healthy eating is out of the picture—because you just don’t have time for it anymore.

If your only strategy is “stick to the plan,” you’ll feel like a failure. But the shift you can make is this: instead of obsessing over the plan, focus on how you react when the plan breaks.

This could mean:

• Don’t panic. When disruption happens, pause before reacting. The goal isn’t to fix everything at once—it’s to keep yourself grounded and clear-headed so you can make better decisions.

• Don’t drop everything. Redefine success in the moment. Maybe instead of a 60-minute workout, you fit in a 10-minute stretch. Instead of cooking a full meal, you grab the healthiest option available. Progress is progress, however small or meaningless it might appear at the time.

• Focus on energy, not perfection. Ask, What small action will give me the most energy right now in the midst of everything that is going on? That might be going for a walk, taking a nap or simply taking some deep breaths.

• Shift your mindset. Remind yourself that the disruption is temporary. You don’t need to solve it perfectly, you just need to navigate it until the storm passes.

Resilience isn’t built in calm waters. It’s built when the unexpected happens—when you can’t rely on a “perfect schedule,” but you can rely on your reactions and your ability to keep moving in small ways.

Balance isn’t something you find—it’s something you practice every time life throws you off course.

SELF-COACHING CORNER

When life feels messy and out of balance, reflection can create clarity. Take a moment to consider:

• What area of your life do you most want “perfect balance” in?

• How do you typically respond when life disrupts your routines?

• What one mindset shift could help you stay grounded in the middle of chaos?

Remember: balance isn’t about perfection—it’s about how you respond, recover and realign when things go off track.